Comic Sans

I donot what is wrong.
Either the whole worlds gone crazy or people just refuse to laugh at my serious attempts of improvised humour (ya ya thats the name I give to all those PJs)

Wanna cite two examples that took place in the last few days:

I work in an IT company and do expect people around me to atleast make an effort to understand this joke

Example 1
----------
The original joke was narrated by a Delhiite who thinks he is the dood :
Once a smart S/W engineer and his Project Manager were traveling towards
Ooty in a train. Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was
sitting along with her grand ma. With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions
started between Our S/W engineer & that girl. After some minutes, train
started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark.

Suddenly, every body heard a Kiss sound followed by a sound of slapping.
Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.

Grand ma thought that," The Guy is a rogue; how dare he is? He has
kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine; she
immediately slapped that guy."

PM thought that,"I can't believe that this guy has kissed that girl! But
it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake"

That girl thought that,"I feel happy, when that guy kissed me, but I
feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him".

Finally, do u know what our clever S/W engineer thought?

" This one minute in my life is wonderful, It hardly comes...because, at
a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my PM."

So the other southie dude replied to all in Pure Rajnikanth style :
"
Definitely, that smart s/w engineer cannot be from Punjab/Delhi.
"
This one left a bad taste in my mouth but what was to follow was even worser.
The dood replied :
Yaa the smart engineer someone who is from Punjab/Delhi will not only slap the manager but also all the Mallus around

This is when I conked out and out of my pure frustration was born a pearl which was very unassuming and subtle :

I just replied
114 Attempt to access item beyond bounds of memory /* context*/ (Signal 11)


Example 2
----------
This one is short and sweet but requires minimal knowledge of Marathi
----
Ravan : Mai bhiksha de

Lady : ghya swami

Ravan : rekha olandun ikade ye (She crosses)

Ravan : HaHaHa mi Bhikshuk nahi !! Ravan aahe !!

Lady: Mi pan Seeta nahi, kamavali bai aahe!! Ha Ha Ha....
----

I thought it lacked a punch and sm1 replied saying this was an old one and wasnt funny anymore ..
So I decided to let them into another dimension of this humorus joke
And I replied
But did you know why the Kaam waali baai cross the line

.

.

.
.

.Because her name was Rekha


Dunno but both these gems left the people in the mailing list speechless and since then i have stopped recieving such comic (sic)sans PJs

The return to/from Moscow

Just trying to fill up for the long hiatus from this place..
Not much to report ..this one was a drab...Ghar se office office se ghar ..boss ka darr ..ghar ka dar...bass itne mein nikal gaya
Lets see and hope the next trip to wherever and whenever it is ...is more fruitful than this one

Moscow

1 month and not many places visited …leaves me with kind of guilt

The guilt of not having done justice to this gr8 city.

The next time I go I would want to do all of the following:

1. Visit the Red Square at night
2. Go around Moscow at night (God give me the strength and courage to do so)
3. Maybe get a few more gifts this time around to all appropriate people only.
4. Visit all museums with a proper person who can provide me a background to what I am seeing.
5. And try to search for vegetarian food in Moscow.

And take lots of pics of each of the places I visit. …Kinda do justice to my N73.

Maybe I do vvisit this place once again

If I don’t whoever does ……Just one word of caution ..The city is dangerous but not as dangerous as ppl make it sound

Why?

An old draft being posted

after 200 days of working .....I suddenly have a huge doubt .....what exactly am I supposed to do right ?
I have felt for the past 22 years that a 9 to 6 job is the easiest thing in the world ...All you got to do is to drag your sick ass down to the office at 9 and drag it back home at 6 . Atleast ma dad made it look easy ..You might bring work home sometimes but its a passing phase maybe a week or at max 2. Now when I am on the other side of the fence goin to school seems so damn easy ..You have fixed deadlines and if you don't meet them the max that may go wrong is that you affect your grades...maybe get a punishment..Here you have deadlines which shift faster that the quicksand and all the time you are in this hole full of shit ... Missing a deadline is as big a crime as wearing shoes to the temple..Nobody says a thing until you reach the sanctum sanctorum and then you are kicked out....Same is the case here ....when you are neck deep in quicksand they find you as a stepping stone to the other side ....the scapegoat ...

Maybe it is actually easy to do it but it depends on whether you got it all right in the first place...
You must know where to and where not to open your mouth????

Maybe I get work from today ...This might mean that the frequency of my blogs might reduce ...But maybe they might be a bit more meaningful.Or may be not ..ANyways Maybe Act 2 of life begins today ...(or tommorow) ..

I miss.....

I dont know whether others feel the same but I now understand why people say that you realize the importance of something after its lost..
I lost my Nokia 6600 a few days back and have tried to console myself about the same.

I miss that black beauty for a lot of reasons a few being...
1. Alarms (that was my only clock in Cyprus)
2. My calendar which had bdays of all friends (Yes thats the only I called up all you ppl on the previous night)
3. Camera ..Yaa you would say that what the heck can you capture in VGA cam...Yaa may be its true.But like Pu.La. said in one of his books(Mee ani Majhe Shatrupaksha) ..pahnaaryaala pindat bramhand diste..
4. Music..(bugged of listening to Greek songs) my mem card of 64 MB used to provide a kind of respite from listening to crap
5. Phone..Miss those long hours of talking (gr8 battery life)..with friends and family

I am sort of thinking of buying a new phone with better features but the thought of losing it scares me to the extent that I feel that not having a phone is not that bad..Not having a phone in the past two weeks has saved me around 2000 rupees ...so looking on the brighter side maybe a few more weeks without the phone willl help my savings
Phir bhi please suggest a good phone in case I make up my mind to buy one

Todays News

GOD IS GREAT...
I still do not understand why did he say that...
What was it that led him to say that...Was he shocked and stunned and this was all he could think of..Or is it that he has another way of living an alternate life and hence is thankful to GOD.
Or is that he knew that this would be his last public appearance and wanted to thank GOD in public...OR Does he realize that all he has done throughout his life is wrong and hence realizes that good and thence GOD prevails.

In other news..
People say that Roger Federer may not be amongst the all time best..
Just for the record this year he has won 11 titles..and his nearest rival Nadal is tied with two others with just 5 titles each..Doesn't that speak volumes of how far ahead he is than people of his time.

The temperature here has dropped quite a few degrees.I discovered a great thing yesterday..Once you are out in the cold ..the first fifteen minutes are painful.Then your extremeties go all numb so basically there is no pain coz you don't know what is hurting you ..Is it the cold or is it that your skin has gone so soft that even your floaters hurts...

My first attempt

Hey this is my first attempt of writing a poetry.Please help me complete it.


Don't know where to find
The inputs resulting this state of mind.
This turing doesnt seem to work it should
Doesnt give any kind of output.
The original inputs I want to find them all
And then restart the winding fall
Halt it somewhere in between
And negate the bits of the stream
Maybe that could change the stateOr as in this case my fate
Now I think maybe the stream is all wrong
Or that the bits make a billabong
It doesnt take me anywhere
I stand midway and stare.


Comments of any type are welcome.....

Cyprus

Cyprus the land of opportunity for me.
The place where I supposedly gonna get work .
It seems that my company knows "All play and no work makes me a happy boy".
So they decided not to give me any work and also sponsor my weekend trips to wherever I wanted

Cyprus where the way to enjoy is sun sand and sex...
Donot know about the third but everything else here except sun and sand is damn costly and unaffordable for the quintessential Indian(like me).The small nation but a large island(is this tagline used by all island countries) has a lot to ofer for the tourist who has to prove that he too was there(the been there done that types).But for a software engineer like me who looks for similarity in situations (customised cut paste is an integral part of life) there is not much on offer.
Basically the so called tourist spots here can be put into one of these categories
1>The beaches :-they were all full of greenery in the summer but as the winter approaches the greenery dries up and all you get to see is old oak trees drying their leaves in the sun.
2>Monuments :- Oh boy..are they fun...You get to see broken pots and pans and keep wondering what keep before the neolithic era or the brone age .
3>There are castles and stadia with absolutely nothing inside them except cold blank walls but hey isn't it fun imagining you are standing where Alexander the Great stood a few centuries ago...naaaa..its absolutely boring.
One more observation on the ruins ..At each and every place you get to see public baths and more public baths .Hey I wonder whats the problem..In the mediterranean climate where it is difficult to sweat I dont know why would the cities have such large public baths ...or is it just that whenever these ppl see something that is rectangular in shape, they assume its a public bath...
And why is it that only public baths have been discovered and nothing else..I mean there are few places where they unearthed private baths(jj).[Please spare the technical reason]
Yaa there are a few pillars of temples of Apollo and Aphrodite or who ever else (hey no proof that i see)
4>Museums: Broken pots, pans and statues (of unknown ppl) from the ruins kept on display..And for one pound (sau rupaiyyaa) that is given as the entry fees the only thing I like is that you get to enjoy the A/C for as long as you wish to...
Also I have been told by my geeky tourist friend to understand the difference between the ones from the geometric era and the ones before that....(maybe they started abstract art back then)

There is another tragedy with Cyprus a lot of things are overglorified Will cite a few examples:
1. House of Achilles :You think this must have been the place where the Brad Pitt esque guy from Sparta ..resided.Now would that be fun.I end up paying 1 pound to enter and then get to know that it is supposed to be the equivalent to a Government guest house where you have a mosaic painting of Achillles (to be recognised by the Greek title written aside)
2. Tomb of the Kings : Here too you go in(1 pound fee) to find out it was never used by kings but high officials and the rich
3. Aphrodites Trail : Do you think any trail would last for a hundred years let alone since the time the Gods used to walk the Earth(I picked that one from Xena).

Even more confusing are the traffic signs on the motorway(I have an idea that the driver is an amateur...no wonder we keep missing signboards) ..You see that Paphos is 69 km when you start off and after travelling about 20 mins you find another signboard that says its still 69 km away(and no we donot drink and drive).



Jokes apart It is really beautiful place ..I have been having a blast .To see the pics you can go here.Coz a pic is worth a thousand words(Hey I should have remembered that when I wrote my last 100 word essay..Maybe just a pic would have done)

My first day at XYZ corp

e4...
There is something about the first time that unnerves me. And came along the D day, my first day in XYZ*.
I miss the head butt and the last header hoping that Act 2 of my life gets a better start
But Destiny had some other plan.
But we reach the invocation ceremony 20 minutes late (so much so for the WC sacrifice).
So I spend the next 20 minutes trying to comprehend what could have gone on in the first twenty minutes.
And suddenly I get to know that the guy who was blabbering for the past forty minutes was the VP of the company
For the next two hours I am paying full attention and taking down notes. So I end up taking notes of the growth plan and its acquisition policy etcetera. I am impressed
All was well till lunch time. Entering the cafeteria I find my way through the crowd to the buffet .The lunch is awesome. Also found a few good looking chicks around, so was happy that my first crush may not necessarily be from HR
I end up thinking this company knows very well that the way to a person’s heart is through his tummy.
The post lunch session was a walkthrough (to be precise a 'sleepthrough'). The day ended at 8 with me feeling guilty of having slept through one more session.
We reach the hotel and then I realize that we were supposed to fill a dozen of forms in post lunch session.
So I do what engineering has taught me very well, the art form I call customized copy paste
And the rest of the day was spent in wondering what the future in this company held for me.
e4 .. e5


Three months down the line ..
Lunches are barely edible.
I still sleep through sessions and feel guilty later.
I have been assigned a department and a project but no work.
I find myself in Cyprus (more of that in the next blog) staring in front of a computer doing nothing (Hey I could have done this in India as well but who’s complaining).

First Blog

This is my first successful effort towards blogging.
I would like to thank the following bloggers for inspiring me knowingly or otherwise
netneo
amitpanhale
godsri
and others...